P.S.

sometimes i just have to wonder,
if people really knew me. if they knew what i dealt with, what i struggle with, my issues and insecurities, would they still view me the same? the thing is that i don't talk about it with people. i deal with it on my own, which could be my downfall. i but i don't want people to treat me differently, to always be like "are you okay? blah blah blah". and half of me doesn't want to change what i struggle with because i'm not satisfied with my life, because i've lived like this for so long that changing would be scary. laksjdklasdj.

i want to know if he would still accept me for me if he knew.
and that's the hardest part, because i really like him.
but if he knew.
if he knew, would i still be "good enough" for him?
would i still be up to his standards?
i don't know if i can risk it.
i can't even talk about it with my best guy friends.
i can't talk about it with anyone.