tell me it'll be okay, lie to me; cuz that's what it was in the end; a lie.

lies.
a relationship built upon lies eventually crumbles.
the sucky part is hearing that i was lied to.
that i believed such a big lie.
that my feelings had been true; to someone who pretended to care to get what he wanted.
reflecting back, i see how God worked in the situation, how he saved me from making bigger mistakes then i already have made. i wear my heart on my sleeve, maybe that's how i get so messed up when boys screw me over.. yet i have in the past lowered my standards, i did not go for the warriors, like i should have. i didn't and still don't all the way believe i deserve a warrior after all the mistakes i made. but that's what God's grace is for, right? see i know all the answers yet i have a hard time believing them in my heart. i'm working on opening up emotionally to people again, but this whole situation has made it hard. but i'm working on not letting that and other past incidents influence future and current relationships. a warrior might have just come in the picture. nevertheless i'm viewing him as a gift, and not going to get my hopes up. because lets face it, commitment terrifies me and opening up to men terrifies me. but if this is from God i can trust him. i mean, every boy that's been in my life has taught me something, whether they hurt me or helped me down the path to recovery. i can look back, and even through my mistakes, i wouldn't change a thing. all the night's i've spent crying have made me stronger, made me smarter.. i guess you gotta go through the darkest parts of life to truly appreciate the lighter aspects.