&HP6LOVE;

well, here we are again folks.
i'm surprised that people actually read this. that they would take the time to read my thoughts, my rantings and my venting. today i got an interesting email, and i'm sure he's going to read this. so i'm going to be honest and say that i don't know if i'm going to reply. i've read that over and over again, how many times have you said that to me? how many times have i let you back into my life for the same thing to happen? truth is, you said a lot of hurtful things. and you did say it was all a lie; whether you meant it or not, it was still said.. and the problem with saying stuff like that when you're mad is that you can't take it back. things like "seeing the truth in your eyes" when you know that's not my heart is insulting. you know me, you know my heart, you know that i cared about you deeply. when does the drama end? because it seems like its one extreme or the other. it's either KELSEY HOW COULD YOU BE SO HEARTLESS SCREW YOU I DON'T TRUST YOU or KELSEY I LOVE YOU YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND ALWAYS. hot and cold, two extremes. i don't understand it. i need stability in my life, i need to be able to invest in friends who aren't going to abandon me over and over again, people who love me enough to stay in my life through the easy times AND the hard times. people who aren't going to "lie" or then change their minds. i mean, you've said two different things, which is the lie? and how am i honestly supposed to believe one when there's a fifty percent chance i'm going to be wrong? i've heard you say these things to me over and over again and i don't think i can believe it anymore.

at this point i don't know what to believe anymore; if any of it.
i guess this just needs time to sit and digest.
because i don't think i can believe anything anymore that you say.