i'm done with this shit.

Dear people i counted on to ALWAYS be there for me;

i want you to know that i'm hurting a lot. i have more going on in my life than you know or will ever understand, this is a dark time for me right now. i feel abandoned from you guys. one of you screamed at me and then proceeded to call another friend to VENT to them because i got drunk. well, here's news for you: that's the LAST time i will EVER tell you ANYTHING ever again. i refuse to have a friend who judges me, and who doesn't love me unconditionally. i don't care if we've been fucking friends for eight years. grow up. to the person who refuses to deal with me: i think thats stupid. if YOU got drunk, i would recognize its probably because you're hurting, i would ask you if you were okay, and if you wanted to fucking talk to me about it i wouldn't fucking blow you off, i wouldn't not deal with it, even if i had the worst day ever. maybe i'm too good of a friend, maybe that's expecting too much for my friends, my BEST fucking friends to give a DAMN about me. and to the friend who's too wrapped up with her new life to care.. just because you're life is FAN flippin TASTIC doesn't mean the rest of our lives are. i'm TRYING to talk to you about my feelings. i'm TRYING to reach out to you. i'm so fucking done with feeling hurt because you guys don't give a shit. i'm moving on, i'm done with this shit. i'm making new friends, and i've learned never to trust people as much as i've trusted you guys- because in the end you all three fucking abandoned me whether you knew it or not. i'm tired of feeling this way. i'm not good enough for you since i made a poor choice. well, it was MY choice. if you made a bad decision i wouldn't judge you for it, ignore you for it, yell at you for it. that isn't what friends do, especially best friends. fuck this shit, i'm done. i give up.